But for me, more than I had dreamed of for many years. I would get my freedom back!What would I do with it? To be free — what a wonderful thought! But when I tried to enjoy it, tried to think of the future that lay ahead of me now, tried to envision all the possibilities that I would have once I was a free woman again, my imagination, as well as my rational mind, failed me. What would I really want to do, who would I really want to be? And what of this could I actually hope to achieve? And how? A ceaseless procession of unfocused images of future me's swirled before my eyes in the dark, until my head swirled with them, disoriented and confused.With an effort of will I stopped those racing thoughts. There would be time enough to think them slowly and carefully in the forthcoming months. To calm down I tried to masturbate, but it made the cut across my vulva hurt and even to start bleeding again, so I gave it up.Why did I feel so uneasy? Whatever my life would be, once I was free. It was only on the bus that she realised she had not way of contacting me, nor me contacting her, so it was a stroke of good fortune that I requested the message to be sent to her, and even more so that the company obliged.We chatted away, agreeing to send emails on a regular basis, and by late autumn, with the help of Google translator, we had become firm friends exchanging views on everything from ancient history to current affairs, and occasionally touching on sex. Tata was a woman who I respected and avoided the temptation to continually tell her how much I missed her and the nights spent reminding my penis of the pleasure we had enjoyed.Realised how things were in Tata’s homeland, I avoided asking about future trips and holidays not being fully aware of her situation and not wanting to pry. Anyway she asked me one night if I had any holidays booked and I let it slip that I was away to Greece in the near future and she asked me to send a photo of the page from the travel company.
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